Mi just cyah badda!

“Yuh eva just cyah badda?!”

“Like really...Yuh just cyah badda wid some stuff?”

I feel like people just expect too much from mi, and inna this “cyah badda” state

that I’m in...kmt...mi really just “cyaaaaah badda”.

😓😓😓

Mi nuh have d energy. Mi nuh have d time. Mi jus “nuh want and cyaaah”.

Mi really frustrated mon😖...buh mi nuh too even know how fi feel or deal wid dem

feelingz deh enuh.

…

“Chro!”

“Mi cyaaah badda enuh”

“Mi - Jus. Cyah. Badda!!!”

😫

Mi nuh feel like talk.

Mi nuh feel like laugh.

Mi nuh feel like move.

Mi nuh feel like eat.

Mi nuh feel like sleep…

Mi nuh even feel like breathing! 🤦🏾‍♀️

Mi. Jus. Cyah. Badda!!!

Dem tingz deh tek too much energy yaw mi G, and energy a weh mi nuh ave,

Especially fi “can badda”.

It’s like mi just tyad: mi want get up but mi cyah get up.😪

It’s like a freaking fight: mi push forward but mi keep drop backwards.😖

It’s frustrating: mi good one minute and the next mi just a complain.😡

It’s a struggle: every time mi try fi do/feel/be better, mi seem as if mi just get worse.😓

Mi nuh encouraged and mi faith fail when it’s tested.

Mi nuh brave enough to do certain things and the things which

I ought to do, I’m not doing it. “Come on now man!”

“Mi need fi start badda.”

“Mi need fi do better.”

“Mi need fi go chru and rev mi engine and drive off” but

“Mi just cyah badda”😓

Smaddy help mi nuh:🙏🏾

Nuh hold nuh rod ova mi; just hold mi hand and push mi.

Or, go behind mi back and push me;

And I mean forward...not off.

Just lend mi likkle encouragement nuh:

And mi nuh mean d “I know you can do it” and “You’re a strong person/girl, Kaeonna.”

I mean the: “Get yuh ass up and we a do this now, suh mek a step now!” kinda ting.

Di “yuh a ramp wid life! Get up and come on!” kinda vibes deh…

Mi need it...and mi need it now!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Please… God… Do...ma beg🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

N’even ask ma ask like how ma beg:

“Please release me from this ‘cyah badda’ attitude. I want to. I need to get better.”

“Release mi nuh God...please…”

“Dissa type a bondage yah a nuh fimme.”

“Dissa really a nuh fimme. Chuss mi”

Bondaged by a craft that was created by man but honed by the enemy... I look forward to being relieved of my duties as “bondaged slave to...cyah badda”